Q: How Can I Stop Criticizing Myself?

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  • Compassionately dig to see where the self-criticism started and where it is stemming from so that you can uproot it.
  • Criticism often takes the form of a logical and rational statement given the current circumstances, when you keep thinking the thoughts you notice that the undertone is anger, anger at yourself for "coming up short" or "failing" in a situation.
  • Banish the negative thoughts NOW, the MOMENT they rear their head you should wack them head on for that is when they are the weakest! The longer you let the negative thoughts float around in your head, they start attracting more negative thoughts and it becomes harder to shift to a positive mental state. {This also applies in many areas in life, the quicker you let go of something/someone that you know isn't serving your whole health, the quicker you can recover & be back in your flow} Don't let that shit stew! This is a dish best served cold!
  • Break it down by being fully honest with yourself, are those thoughts really true? Or are you being way too hard on yourself? I tend to be my worst critic, and sometimes my own reviews on my own behavior are horribly harsh and unjust. By unjust I mean that I am not accounting for all the stress and all the cognitive load that plays a part in my daily life, I'm learning to not just focus on the end results but to look at the whole story, the big picture. Unzooming and not being so caught up in the details of your actions can give you a better, more inclusive view of all the variables at play on your path.
  • From there, realize that when you give yourself your love and kindness you are using 'compassionate self-awareness' a term used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that basically means you are compassionate enough with yourself to employ self-awareness into the areas which need attention/care/healing. By being compassionate with yourself you change the angle at which you approach your problem, your inquisitiveness no longer stems from anger but from love which makes the whole difference.
  • Turn your awareness inward by being understanding with your pain, to be understanding you must follow the thought back to where it came from...when did it start? Perhaps when you didn't get a call back from a job interview, an audition or after a first date? Look at it objectively. Don't get mad at yourself if it takes time, be patient, give yourself that time of exploration into the inner wells of your being in order to uproot where the self-criticism actually started (most likely in earlier years of your life, perhaps you will trace the thoughts back to a time when your mother told you that you weren't as beautiful as you thought, or an ex-partner really hammered the belief that you always give up, perhaps you had a competitive sibling, or you were always compared to others your age and told to giddy up and change yourself to fit the mold). If you can't think of where the thoughts come from, that's OK, don't judge your feelings, don't get more upset at yourself for being upset, now that you are aware that you do not want the thoughts around anymore, let them float away...
  • Do not look outside to others remember this: "Comparing yourself to others is an act of violence against your authentic self." Your own unique circumstances in this life are different from others, allow that to be okay, give thanks for your lot, and be kind kind kind to your mind-body-soul, the more you come from a place of love, the more you can give & receive!

Related Affirmations: I am human. I deserve to forgive myself. I deserve to feel good. I practice radical self-love. I forgive and love myself INTENTIONALLY. Strength is mine when I act out of love. I care for this body, for it is me, my temple, and I worship it by dusting away the hate, opening the windows of my eyes and allowing the light to pour through.

-Loving Yourself As A Form Of Activism-  Bow to yourself for being here and seeking out this advice as I bow to you dear one! Thank you for showing up for you!

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes.
— Gandhi